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Chapter 106, pt.3

by Mike & Dave on September 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM

And that’s my idea for a new TV show for the CW network! It’s got everything all we teenaged girls look for in an hour-long supernatural drama!

↓ Transcript
Mike: How long is our season premiere comic going to run?
Dave: It's the pilot episode of our series premiere.

Mike: Whatever Dave. But seriously, I'm getting real itchy with this costume on. I think it might have fleas.
Dave: Mike, please, respect the fourth wall.

Mike: Again, whatever. Hey, isn't Scott supposed to involved in this somehow?
Dave: Any minute ...

Scott: Uh, hey guys.
Mike: What the hell is that?

Dave: It's Scott. He's in costume. You just need to look really close.

Mike: Holy shit. What is he?
Dave: He's a fairy. I'm gonna go ahead and say a fairy queen. No, princess.

Scott: Guys, can I put something on over this? It's really drafty and I'm getting cold.
Dave: Hush fairy princess and dance your fairy princess dance for us!

Scott: What? Do I have to? But, but, it's just so embarrassing. OK, fine, here you go.

Scott: I'm a little fairy princess!

Scott: I frolic all day long

Scott: And if you feed me chocolate treats

Scott: I'll suck you off like a bong!

Mike: How did you get him to sing that song?
Scott: I'm a little fairy princess

Scott: I frolic all day long
Dave: That little fairy strumpet will do anything for a chocolate treat!


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48 Hours: Hard Evidence, #156

by Dave on January 27, 2012 at 11:59 PM
Posted In: Dave Watches TV!

The biggest problem with this episode of 48 Hours: Hard Evidence is that I already knew how it was going to end: the murder suspect was found not-guilty of murder. How did I know this? Because it’s the Casey Anthony story!

I only found out about this whole Casey Anthony a couple of months ago when I saw a reference to it somewhere so I glanced at the Wikipedia article. Pretty horrific stuff! Right?

Kind of weird that the OWN network would even bother showing this since we all know how it’s going to end. Kind of sloppy. Lazy maybe.

Anyway, I was bored. But! In spite of the fact that the evidence against Ms. Anthony is pretty darned damning and her parents look to be neck-deep in denial, the show managed to present the story in a pretty balanced manner. I guess maybe there was some kind of “journalistic integrity” at work? Alright, I can accept that.

There was one interesting bit to all this, it was all the protesters who harassed Ms. Anthony and her parents (she was living with them throughout everything). If Ms. Anthony was guilty of the murder and had the jury agreed then the justice system (as such it is) would have taken care of her so what the heck were the protesters thinking? It’s a kind of mentality I do not understand and I’m grateful I’m not one of them. And to add to the weirdness they apparently would bring their own small children to the protest in order to … make some kind of statement? I don’t know, like I said, that whole part of this was confusing.

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Unsupervised, #1

by Dave on January 26, 2012 at 11:59 PM
Posted In: Dave Watches TV!

What’s one of the best networks in America? FX. Seriously, just check out the shit that I like from them: Rescue Me, Justified, American Horror Story, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Louie, Wilfred, and Archer. Seriously, ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox would suck a dick to get that kind of lineup.

So now imagine a new FX animated project with Rickety Cricket and Sweet Dee from Sunny, Fred Armisen from Portlandia, Kristen Bell who’s just cute as a button, with everyone’s favorite aging hipster Justin Long, and made in Georgia and you’ve got Unsupervised! With a pedigree like that it has to be the greatest animated show of all fucking time!

And yet. And yet I didn’t laugh once. Nor did I find it entertaining. Nor was was the story particularly interesting. Nor was it darkly humorous or humorously dark. It basically fell flat.

Obviously I wanted to like it. I desperately needed to like it. It has everything I could ever want in a TV show. It would be like the BSG/Jedi Knight/Doctor Who crossover I fantasize about every night before I go to sleep. Unsupervised should have been that great, that epic.

In this episode, the pilot, Justin Long and Cricket throw a party and everyone learns a lesson about how awesome big tits are. Not a bad premise. In fact a premise with mounds of charm and mouth-fulls of potential and yet it sagged into the depths of unfunny hell.

Because I had already convinced myself that it was going to be an awesome show I’m still giving it a positive review knowing that the next episode will right everything and we’ll all be able to laugh at the disappointment that was episode 1.

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The Brady Bunch, #103

by Dave on January 25, 2012 at 11:59 PM
Posted In: Dave Watches TV!

You know who made it out the best from The Brady Bunch? Besides us viewers, of course. No one! Pretty much all their lives went to shit after the show was cancelled. To shit.

Much like the lives of us viewers! I mean seriously, who among us can say that our lives have been better post-Brady Bunch? It’s all been downhill since 1974.

Those of you born after 1974 are probably fine. Your lives are going OK and things can get better. Kudos y’all.

This is doubly sad for people like me since the Brady Bunch was such a crappy show. If that’s the highlight of my life then why haven’t I killed myself with the sweet release of alcohol? Mysteries upon mysteries.

Anyway, in this episode Bobby saved Peter from being nudged by a falling ladder. You remember that episode, Peter became Bobby’s slave in order to repay the debt. Yeah, yeah, silly jokes ensued.

What’s way way way more important is the house they lived in. It’s totally Mid-Century Modern and rad to the bone. Even as a kid watching the show in syndication I was drawn, almost erotically, to the design and architecture. My late grandfather had a similar split-level home in some kind of gated community in East Texas (called Hideaway Lake).

Er, I just spent an hour trying to remember the name of that community (which you can see above that I did) and then trying to find a picture of his house. But man I was young when he lost it in an acrimonious divorce to some kind of she-devil (as he would tell the story) so my memory of its exterior is lacking but the interior, that I’ve got. Or at least part of it. Anyway, if any of you live in Hideaway Lake and want to do some snooping around, I’ve got a job for you. You’ll need a camera. And probably a crowbar or a brick. Maybe some firearms, but just for protection.

Um, I guess, review over?

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