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It’s wizards! It’s non-teens! It’s, wait, oh oops. Technically State of Georgia is not a teen sit-com. My bad. But don’t worry, there’s absolutely no way it’s long for this tournament.

Wizards of Waverly Place (4): It’s a Halloween episode that totally rips off Beetlejuice! Sort of. I mean like one aspect of it. Well two, if you count the number of laughs. Zing! As in both this show and Beetlejuice had two laughs!

State of Georgia (13): The one chick gives up on her dreams to be an actress in order to work late at the clothing store. Poor life decision, says I. Another very poor decision was the “improvised” musical number that counted off as a lame moment. The one funny bit was a joke about Bruce Jenner.

Score:
Wizards of Waverly Place — 6
State of Georgia — 2
Notes: Wow, these teen sit-coms, even the ones that aren’t technically so, really do suck. I mean they are just horrifically bad and unfunny. But I don’t make the rules of this tournament so I have to watch these crappy shows anyway. The good news is that we’re done with the teen sit-com bracket! For this round. Now I get to watch more of the “winners”. Sigh.

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Last minute substitution! The Simpsons was supposed to be up against The Bob Newhart Show but when it came time to watch Bob it turned out that it’s no longer available anywhere for free viewing! The first thing that did come up then was Scrubs. Hooboy! That means we’re in for a first-round clash of the titans with last year’s second place show, The Simpsons, against a very funny Scrubs that lost in the first round against the surprising Cavemen. Can Scrubs overcome last year’s disappointment and topple the mighty Simpsons? Tension!

The Simpsons (2): Lisa takes the bus to the museum and gets lost along the way! There were some serious father-daughter bonding moments that lead to some serious lame moments. But then Homer getting his head caught in a drawbridge was pretty damn inspired. Bart had some kind of wacky adventure at a joke shop. Plenty of laughs here, folks!

Scrubs (15): J.D.’s brother visits and J.D. has to tell him what a loser he is. Meanwhile Grouchy doctor tells Kelso what a loser Kelso’s son is. Because it’s Scrubs there are plenty of lame learning moments but also lots of good laughs like some meta-faux-4th-wall-breaking. And a reference to how House totally ripped off Grouchy doctor!

Score:
The Simpsons — 44
Scrubs — 37
Notes: Both of these episodes had plenty of lame moments but as is usual for The Simpsons it managed to just squeeze in a few more jokes-per-minute than Scrubs. Scrubs is way too good of a show to get knocked out in the first round two years in a row but I guess it was bad luck that it started this year’s campaign against the always dominant Simpsons. Better luck next year, guys!

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We’re getting closer to the end of the first round and it’s only May 3rd! And tonight we have a treat! And it’s not The Jetsons. Spoiler alert.

The Jetsons (4): Did you know this show was brought back in the ’80s? For some reason? Still not funny at all. But what hurt it the most is that A) it was a Christmas episode which are always unfunny and lame and B) was a parody of “A Christmas Carol” by Chucky D. There was also a musical number. Could it get any worse?

Clerks: The Animated Series (13): This was a clips episode. Normally that’s a very bad thing. In this case it was the second episode so it turned the whole “clips” thingy on its head! And then Inceptioned it! I laughed heartily and mightily only stopping to mourn the fact that this brilliant show only lived a scant six episodes. But what a life it was!

Score:
The Jetsons — 2
Clerks: The Animated Series — 75
Notes: I’m not sure there’s ever been a more lopsided contest within this competition. 75-2. Given that Clerks was a 13 seed to The Jetsons 4 seed makes you wonder about the seeding process. Here’s the thing, I don’t really remember how I did it but it made absolutely perfect sense at the time. Such perfect sense that you would have cried tears of pure bliss had I divulged my thought process on the matter.

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It’s Matt Berry in his third show in this tournament! Will he be 3 for 3? Or will a ’90s sit-com about a priest defrock him?

Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (2): Folks, this is one of the best best sit-coms of all time, BBC or not. It’s a parody of horror shows done in a cheesy ’80s style. But it’s so much better than I can possibly communicate. This episode was all racist against Scottish people and even though I didn’t get at least half of the references I still laughed non-stop. Non-stop. That’s a lot of points. All deserved.

Father Ted (15): Have there ever been any sit-coms about religious people that have been any good? I’m going to say no and Father Ted proves no exception. Though there were some laughs. Like when the nuns came to visit. And also a hot writer with whom Father Ted desperately wanted to get with in spite of his religious vows. The writer ended up becoming a nun. There was also a senile old priest who was an alcoholic. Easy laughs there.

Score:
Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace –45
Father Ted –18
Notes: A blowout. Totally expected. Garth Marenghi is one of the best shows in this tournament and I expect it to give a good run at the title. Or at least make it out of the BBC bracket. I had never heard of Father Ted and I see now that I missed out on nothing.

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It’s the great cartoon war of Modernism vs. Postmodernism! Kind of, I suppose. It’s definitely mouse vs. dog & cat. And we all win!

Ren & Stimpy (6): I hate shows that are divided into two 15-minute episodes. Just to get that out of the way early. The first part had Ren & Stimpy die. The other one was a bizarre journey with Reverend Meat. While I never laughed heartily, my inner aesthetic self found some of it amusing, in an artsy kind of way. Sort of. Also, Lady Gaga totally ripped off this episode.

12 oz. Mouse (11): This might be the only truly Modernist show to ever make it on TV. But then it was cancelled. Such is the way of Modernism. In this episode aliens invaded and the mouse got his revenge. Or did he? Simulations within simulations, i.e., Inception totally ripped off this episode. It was very difficult to score this episode as all the humor was absurdist or maybe surrealist? Can’t it be both? In any case points were awarded not so much for laugh-out-loud bits but for the intellectual and absurd humor-like effect.

Score:
Ren & Stimpy — 10
12 oz. Mouse — 18
Notes: I never really understood why people loved Ren & Stimpy so much. I mean yeah, there was the space episode and it was insanely creative. But then I also never really understood why more people didn’t fully appreciate the beauty of 12 oz. Mouse. Anyway, Adult Swim wins again!

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Hey everybody! Sorry it’s been so long since an update but work has been a-killin’ me! I know, I know, a blogger complaining about work etc. But! The tournament marches on and we will determine the greatest sit-com of all time for the year 2012 even if it takes all year! I just pray I won’t have to watch either of these shows ever again to do it.

Jessie (6): Jessie goes to Central Park and lets the kids run around free doing whatever they want without supervision! Instead of being arrested for child endangerment she’s rewarded with a record contract. It was for a song about how rotten Texans are as boyfriends. I can identify with that, being a Texan and all. But karma being what karma is it turned out that the record producer was a scammer so nobody but cosmic justice won in the end.

Kickin’ It (11): It’s a bunch of karate kids and their crazy high school lives! Like the one nerd karate kid who becomes the star kicker for the football team. His “friends”, so called, took total advantage of the situation but everything turned out A-OK in the end like they always do. For some reason there wasn’t any karateing which I found somewhat disappointing.

Score:
Jessie — 4
Kickin’ It — 6
Notes: Here’s the breakdown, both episodes scored 4 points from two funny moments. Had it ended there Jessie would have eventually won on tiebreaks using the hottest chick criterion. However, there was a really horrible musical number in Jessie that was penalized as a lame moment and gave two extra points to Kickin’ It. There’s a lesson in there for all TV producers: no more lame shit in your stupid shows!

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It’s the nerd show for nerds against a classic from HBO! This is The Big Bang Theory‘s first foray into our little tournament but considering it’s one of the highest rated sit-coms on TV right now I’m sure it will do well. But how will it fare against a show that gave The Simpsons a run for its money in the Elite Eight? I predict a close one.

The Big Bang Theory (7): First up, good choice on doing a Sheldon-centric episode. He’s the funniest part of the show but is often given secondary stories. In this episode he has an opportunity to meet Stephen Hawking but first has to be Howard’s slave (ala Brady Bunch among other hackneyed sit-coms). There were plenty of laughs but a lame moment toward the end when Howard helps Sheldon out. Still, a very solid showing.

The Larry Sanders Show (10): I tells ya, that Larry Sanders is one funny feller! But then so is his sidekick Hank! Especially when Hank is worried about his job. Which I guess is all the time. Not so funny was Larry’s relationship with his former wife now girlfriend. But that’s OK, this veteran show provided plenty of laughs and waltzed comfortably through the episode.

Score:
The Big Bang Theory — 43
The Larry Sanders Show — 47
Notes: It wasn’t just the one lame moment that doomed The Big Bang Theory, it was the one extra laugh for Larry Sanders. Still, it was close, and Chuck Lorre and his crew should be proud that The Big Bang Theory made such a respectable showing in this its first appearance in this annual tournament. Someone has to win and this time it was Gary Shandling.

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It’s the greatest stupid teen sit-com of all time Hannah Montana against Mr. Young! We all lose.

Hannah Montana (1): Hannah loses that dude with the hair as her friend. Later they make up. Two lame moments there. But! Rob Reiner was in the episode for some reason so that scored a couple of laughs. And there was a reference that no one in the intended demographic, or their parents, would have gotten so I laughed a little at that. I’m old.

Mr. Young (16): Doogie Howser goes back to high school to teach science! And falls in love with one of his students and electrocutes another. All without consequences, hilarious or otherwise! There was a reason this was seeded 16th and its because it did not have a single laugh anywhere.

Score:
Hannah Montana — 6
Mr. Young — 4
Notes: All of Mr. Young‘s points came from lame moments in Hannah Montana. This was a really poor performance from a #1 seed and I’m positive Hannah won’t survive its next round match-up against Fillmore!.

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What’s the greatest book ever written? Probably Finnegans Wake. But if the question was narrowed down to British sci-fi novels that were adapted to radio and television then it would have to be Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. And it will be up against Snuff Box which stars this dude who’s in at least three of the shows in this tournament, Matt Berry.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (7): Seriously, the books are some funny shit. Very, very funny in fact. The TV show? Only so far as it reminds you of the books. Anyway, in this episode Ford and Arthur are rescued in the nick of time after being exposed to Vogon poetry. There were some laughs but I think they were more nostalgic than actual laughs.

Snuff Box (10): Holy crap where has this show been all my life since 2006 when it came out? Probably stuck in England till Netflix rescued it. Hooray Netflix! In this episode the one guy, an actual American on a BBC production, steals the other guy’s diaries! Hilariousness and violence ensued! Also, I think the guys are hangmen, maybe? Odd that.

Score:
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy — 41
Snuff Box — 50
Notes: I really wanted H2G2 to win. It is one of my favorites series of novels ever written. Clever, smart, insightful, and still science fiction. Nearly perfect. And yet Snuff Box just had moments of pure brilliance that H2G2 could not match.

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I really meant to include Sanford and Son in last year’s tournament but I forgot. It happens. The Cosby Show is obvious given that it’s one of the best rated shows of all time. Here’s something, I totally did not seed the shows in the tournament with an eye toward potential match-ups, so that a ’70s sit-com about poor African Americans is up against an ’80s show about wealthy African Americans is really a coincidence, but one of those coincidences that make this tournament all that much more interesting.

Sanford and Son (6): Sanford and Big Dummy are poor! And all their utilities are shut off! And all their possessions are about to be repossessed! What’s there to do? Have jokes about soap operas and canned zucchini! Good jokes at that! In the end Sanford pulled off a scam against whitey and everything was OK.

The Cosby Show (11): On the other end of the class warfare scale, the Cosby family is debating on which school the daughter should go to: Princeton or Brown. La-ti-fucking-da. Not that it wasn’t funny. I mean fucking Bill Cosby could turn a joke, no doubt. Like when Theo kept grandpa from entering the house Cosby found all sorts of ways to belittle the boy. And even Grandpa joined in on the fun! And we all had fun and we all had laughs!

Score:
Sanford and Son — 20
The Cosby Show — 24
Notes: Down to the wire! The Cosby Show had a couple of 3-pointers that put the game away but Sanford and Son made it interesting. If, as always, a bit depressing as well.

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